A Successful Weekend
Thanks so much to Fragile Utopia for inviting us to play their CD Release. I hope they sell every disc they can press. Also many thanks to all the people who welcomed Charlie into the fold.
Steps to make Brandon Acker into a rock god… or demon, I suppose. It’s metal.
1) Change your name to Braden. The name Brandon is too friendly.
2) Get a fully tattooed arm, or sleeve.
3) Do some jail time. Doesn’t matter for what, just make sure it’s NOT for rape. Statutory is ok, of course, and will inevitably add to your street cred.
4) Don’t do some jail time. Openly confess to a murder of someone, hopefully a fellow metal musician, and then beat the rap (you will have outsmarted the authorities by properly destroying any evidence).
Consider these 4 easy steps… We’ll be sure to add some more later.
January 10th, 2008 at 2:33 am
5) Date a porn star, this won’t be hard once she hears you wail, I promise.
6) Get a Floyd Rose guitar for God’s sake!
7) Braden Detenacker, we’ll call ya “The Detenacker”
8 ) Create a ridiculous backstory eg: your birth parents were Gene Simmons and a wild boar
Bands you should listen to exclusively:
Lamb of God, Motorhead, Pantera, Metallica (old though, pre-bullshit)
January 25th, 2008 at 8:59 am
9. Mutilate an animal on stage and send PETA into a field frenzy.
10. Chug vodka exclusively for all interviews.
11. With your fully tattooed arm be sure to include a pentagram.
12. Go to rehab at some point in your career.
13. Later on relapse and talk about your struggle with drugs.